I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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