You're my little dorito
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
