Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
