this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
