Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
