I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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