Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i came on her dog
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize