can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
