Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All the doctor said was why
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
