I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
