i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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