I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
