I wannas sexs uuuuu
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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