We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
