I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
