5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
