so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
