I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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