this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
