even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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