come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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