I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
