dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
there is glitter all over my balls
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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