Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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