haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
