i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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