I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
