I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
