i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
