i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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