He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
