I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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