We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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