I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
