idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
