Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
