I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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