is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
