YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize