I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
