Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
