It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
