ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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