in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
