You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
