I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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