so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My dick has a subreddit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
