Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
