I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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