At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
