im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
