hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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