you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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