what day is it and did you see me today?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize