Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
