This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
