She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
