I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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